Hehee, I get similar spam all the time. [img]wink.gif[/img]
People often complain about getting spam in their email box. This is stupid. If I've learned anything from all of the devout Christians who email me each week-- aside from the fact that I'm going to burn in hell-- it's that everything happens for a reason. If you get an email, it's God's will. So, unlike the rest of you heathens, I've been taking the time to reply to all of these unsolicited emails, and you won't believe the bounty that I've reaped.
The first was from a woman named Doris from the Enlarge your Penis Alliance. She claimed that she could help me add up to 3 inches to the length of my penis. My first thought was, "What am I going to do with a 15 inch penis?" But who am I to question God's will? So I replied.
The second was for legal marijuana alternatives and herbal highs. Now I don't know about you, but my drug of choice is crack cocaine. But I was intrigued, and figured it was worth a shot. After all, the NEW 100% Legal Marijuana Alternatives like Blueberry Buds and Purple Haze Herbal Smoke were in stock NOW and ultra POTENT. So I replied.
The third one was from MJ32Misty who does not usually forward messages, but this was from her good friend Pearlas Sanborn and she really IS an attorney. It was about a little known beta test that Microsoft was running, where they paid you just to forward emails. Her brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. She showed Misty a check for the sum of $4,324.44, and it was stamped "Paid In Full".
Now, I know Bill Gates personally, because we both take our dogs to the same spa for high colonics. We often chat while having our pubic hair tinted. So I called him, and you know what? It was absolutely true. I just received MY first check for $4325.86 and it really was stamped "Paid In Full" just as I was promised!
But the most recent emails have been even more exciting. Here's a taste:
I AM DR OKAFOR JAMES SNR THE FINANCIAL CONTROLLER OF NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION(NNPC)AND BY THE VIRTUE AS A DIRECTOR IN THE NNPC LAGOS, I GOT YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS FROM AN ASSOCIATE WORKING WITH THE NIGERIAN EXPORT PROMOTION COUNCIL AND I DECIDED TO PROPOSE TO YOU THIS BUSINESS IN STRICT CONFIDENCE.
I do know a lot of people who work with the Nigerian Export Promotion Council, so it would be hard to narrow it down to who turned these guys on to me. I have to respect their wishes, and keep their proposal in the strictest confidence, but let's just say they want to give me 25% of $20.5 million just for letting them deposit it in my account.
Then I received another email from a different Nigerian guy named ENGR. MAC UCHI. He wants to give me 30% of $26.4 million for doing the very same thing. Are these Nigerians the most generous mother fuckers on the planet or what?
I just sent all of my banking information, along with turning over my power of attorney to those hard working Nigerians. It's been a couple weeks and I haven't heard back yet. But to be honest, I'm too busy playing with my enormous penis, and getting wasted on my high quality, totally legal, herbal marijuana to really care.
Hehee, I get similar spam all the time. [img]wink.gif[/img]
I love the ones I get from the US about how I can afford to buy a house and consolidate my loans all at the same time..but I need to be living in the US and be a US citizen..
Dont these people check up on where they're sending their emails to? Obviously not..
I don't get spam mail....I get a lot of junk from friends...but no spam...my server really screens it well...that is one nice thing about having a "small cheesy server"..They won't allow attachments either....but hey! I'm virus free right now anyway....BTW...Spam sandwichers are pretty good...my grandkids love them..and spam bounces..ask Lefty..hehehehehehe
lol
I remember growing up and Spam came in only one flavour..SPAM flavour and now you have Smoked Spam..Turkey Spam..and Spam Lite..wow!
Spam and eggs.... Nothin' like it on a campout [img]tongue.gif[/img]
mmm Spamburger with the lot
Grilled spam and cheese with macaroni.
With a side of spam bits.
And a spam-cocktail -- all ground down. Slobbery, fattening, kinda pink goodness.
Mmmm...
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img] *errkkk*Originally posted by Lefty:
And a spam-cocktail -- all ground down. Slobbery, fattening, kinda pink goodness.
Mmmm...
My day just isn't complete if I can't make someone gag.
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